


Five Things Sherlock Loves About John And One Thing He Grudgingly Tolerates

by rightonmybins



Series: The Real Househusbands of Baker Street [8]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Besotted Sherlock, Domestic Fluff, Domestic Life at 221B Baker Street, Fluff and Humor, I Love You But Damn, M/M, Romance, Romantic John
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-12 06:08:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13541355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rightonmybins/pseuds/rightonmybins
Summary: Sherlock may not know that the Earth orbits the Sun – all he knows is that John is the center of his universe.A whole boatload of Valentine’s Day fluff and even more fluff and oh did I say fluff.





	Five Things Sherlock Loves About John And One Thing He Grudgingly Tolerates

I.  
“John?”  
“Hm?”  
“John, I love this little point of hair at the nape of your neck.”  
“Thank you?”  
“It’s so deliciously….pointy.”  
“Sherlock, you give literal meaning to the term “breathing down one’s neck’.”  
“Oh. Sorry.”  
“Well… I didn't mean you had to stop.”

 

II.  
“Not cerulean, not azure, not viridian….”  
“Sherlock, what are you doing with those watercolors?”  
“Painting. Perhaps indigo, or sapphire…”  
“Those are pretty. Going in for landscapes?”  
“Not exactly. Cornflower, cyan…cobalt?”  
“That’s nearly the color of my new tie.”  
“Ultramarine! No.”  
“Quite a lot of blue there.”  
“Lapis lazuli. Getting closer…”  
“Closer to what? Is this a clue of some sort?”  
“John, I am attempting but failing to reproduce the most extraordinary color known to humankind. One so exquisite it causes angels to sing and strong men to weep. A gift from the gods for one chosen mortal: the most unique eye color in all the world.”  
“Sounds intriguing. And who is your suspect then?”  
“I rather think I’m looking at him.”

 

III.  
“SHERLOCK! NO MORE, PLEASE!”  
“John, many people experience this exercise quite positively, so if you would just -”  
“I MEAN IT! STOPPPPPPPP!!!”  
“This process simply involves the neurological program for the generation of self and other. In other words -"  
“I don’t care how…NOOO!.... you try to rationalize it…..this is ….GAAAHHHHHHH!!”  
“Gargalesis is a singularly mammalian phenomenon. In fact, mammalian brain evolution shows – “  
“SHERLOCK! DON’T MAKE ME SHOOT YOU!!”  
“I realize you are struggling to comprehend a complex human behaviour –“  
“GODDAMMIT JUST QUIT IT!!!”  
“I SAID, this reaction is purely a distinguishing feature of mammals. As humans we develop these instincts so we don't become alarmed whenever we brush against a wall or our own clothing.”  
“I fail to see how…NO! SHERLOCK!!... see how this benefits me…NOOOOOOOO!”  
“What would our life be like if, every time we bumped into something, we would startle ourselves? Everyone would be extremely goofy. I cannot afford to work with a goofy colleague.”  
“SHERLOCK YOU STOP THIS RIGHT NOOOOOWWWWWW!”  
“Oh all right, I suppose you’ve had enough for the moment.”  
“Jesus. Why do I put up with you, you are such a fucking annoying prat.”  
“No, I’m a scientist. On the other hand, the empirical side of me also finds your reaction quite arousing.”  
“Yeah, that is the most fucking annoying part. You’re not ticklish.”  
“You are OVERLY ticklish while it affects me not in the least. I’m simply trying to desensitize you a bit to this particular reflex.”  
“Many thanks, you berk.”  
“Besides, John, nothing sparks romance like a tickle fight. Amongst adults, the tickle battle often becomes sexual foreplay.”  
“Well, I suppose there is that…”  
“Oh yessss. There is that.” 

 

IV.  
“A kiss is always a nice surprise, Sherlock. But what was that for?”  
“As ever, you are wrinkling your handsome brow in consternation and I thought it needed to be ironed out a bit.” 

 

V.  
There are few things more revealing than observing someone who believes himself unobserved.  
Look at him standing there before the sitting room mirror adjusting his tie. The knot is precise - this is a practiced motion. He’s done it hundreds of times, could do it blindfolded.  
He’s chosen that tie because it complements his shirt – does he know how it reflects his eyes? A man could drown in those eyes.  
His hands are graceful, the skin finely stretched over the bones and veins. The hands of an artist, perhaps. They are the hands of a healer but they are also the hands of a killer. Doctor, soldier – two sides of the same coin.  
He holds the jacket by the lapels, shrugs slightly to settle it on his shoulders. Dusts it off, tugs at the pockets and the vent. Buttons it.  
Nods at the man in the mirror. Nods at me.  
“Ready, Sherlock?”  
Ready, John.

 

VI.  
“John, for so many years the only pair of cold feet in my bed belonged to me. But now I must warn you for what must be the thousandth time - if you insist on placing those freezing plates of meat of yours on my balls again, I’m going to…make you wear socks.”

**Author's Note:**

> Tickling research and quotations based on the work of Dr. Robert Provine, a neuroscientist at the University of Maryland, Baltimore and his book “Laughter: A Scientific Investigation”. All copyrights belong to him and I intend no violation.
> 
> Plates of meat: feet (Cockney rhyming slang)


End file.
